Last night I couldn't get to sleep. I went to bed like two hours before I have been regularly sleeping lately, in an attempt to fix my sleep schedule but I couldn't get to sleep. First I watched an episode of The Office on my iPod. This show is awesome, by the way. And I lied there for a while and my left leg started to twitch. It wasn't like my entire body was convulsing but I could feel the muscle in my left thigh twitching, like a heartbeat. I thought it was just the position I was lying in but I shifted and I even turned on the lights to look at it and indeed, my leg was vibrating on its own. It wasn't scary, but it was sort of weird. So anyways, it got me thinking about somebody who told me that they have this thing with their heart, like it skips a beat and they've got some other weird body things and I realized that I would never tell anybody about this leg thing. Not that I'm embarrassed or ashamed to talk about it because its no big deal, but I just don't feel comfortable talking about something like that. I think its because it only relates to me and I never want people to only have to listen to me talk about nothing that has anything else to do with them. I feel like if somebody is going to talk to me, I should talk about something that they might be interested in talking about otherwise, sports or something going on in their life, something like that.

A lot of people have told me this and I've tried to change but I suppose I haven't really changed as much as I thought I have, although I've tried to be more conscious of it, I have a tendency to want to always be right. I don't know what that is all about. Like I don't know how to talk to people and instead I have to defend myself somehow by contradicting whatever they say. What is that? I don't know. I think somewhere along the way I failed to develop the people skills that everybody else (well almost) learned in their growing up years. Other people are able to talk about themselves and share their experiences, no matter what, thats how I know about somebody's heart palpitations but I don't know how to talk about it without feeling like I'm wasting people's time. I also don't know how to react to people for some reason. Like when people tell me things I want to empathize and say nice things but I always feel like I sound fake because I'm not genuinely excited. I mean I am excited or sad or whatever for them, but I feel as though the way I express it is false and insincere, even though I definitely don't mean it to be. Where does one get these people skills I wonder?

Sean Paul f/ Rihanna - Break it Off