Stupid Dodgers. Losing 5 in a row. This is sucky. Its okay though. Another team has learned about the crappiness that is Jeff Weaver. In his debut as a St. Louis Cardnial, he lost to Atlanta 15-3. I can't believe that the Angels got anything for him.

I was at Target really early one morning a few days ago and I was reading some "inspirational" books. One of them was by Tim McGraw, the singer, or he inspired it with his song "Live Like You Were Dying" or something like that. Anyways, it just had quotes and sayings about carpe diem and whatever. But there was one section in there about how people save letters because it is a reminder of a time when somebody loved them enough to write them something. And I think I like that explanation of letters. I received a postcard today from my friend, who is one of the bravest people I know, and its just nice to know that people think of you even when they're off discovering the world. I do love receiving mail. I wonder if people have saved the postcards I've sent to them and the letters I passed back in grade school. I used to save old emails but it wasn't quite the same as the postcard or letter because when you go back to read those, its like a placeholder in time of a moment shared. Its hard for me to explain and I tried to duplicate it by just sending postcards out even though I saw the people before any snail mail would ever arrive but I got very little positive response from that experiment. I think I'll have to try it again sometime, when something important happens to me. I suppose what I'd really like is to be able to read letters that I've sent out to others to recall a time in my own life. I forget things so quickly now and I wish I could hold onto every moment, even the low ones.

Sometimes I wonder what the hell is wrong with me. Yesterday when I started my shift I was feeling excellent. There are times when I just feel like nothing in the world bothers me. I once wrote that I decided to not let things bother me anymore, and sometimes I totally feel that way. But then there are times, in the same day, sometimes the same hour, where I feel like crap and I second guess myself and I think negative thoughts. I think what I like most is getting lost in the moment, like at the movies. Bleh.

I feel like I wrote this blog post just to have something new because that last post, although it was very important to me, makes me depressed to have it on top. So I'm sorry that this post makes no sense, and here's some information that is more important to my life:

After a very bad experience with office work, I think I've decided that teaching is what I want to do, even though I've been avoiding it since high school, I really think I'd enjoy it. But maybe I should think about it for more than two days, huh?

Hans Zimmer - Jack Sparrow