The adventure in Rome ends this week. I fear that I'm leaving this episode of my life much the same as when I entered it. I don't feel as though I've grown immensely as a person because of this trip and perhaps that was just how I am. I certainly have learned a lot and met some new, interesting and fun people, but on a personal level I feel more lost than ever.

People say that they regret not having done certain things, particularly on my program and that certainly applies to me as well. I was thinking about when the first time I met some of the people on this program was. Not over 4 months ago, obviously, yet I couldn't remember. I went over to some people's apartment tonight to ask them if they remembered, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. It seemed to me asking such a thing would constitute some breach of the friendship, although I'm sure it means nothing. Our first encounter was simply uneventful because of the large numbers of new people we met in such a short period of time.

Over the course of the last month, thinking about home made me wish the departure date couldn't come sooner. Its not that I was having an awful time in Rome, I certainly am not, but the thought of home made me feel good. Perhaps it was knowing what was there awaiting me. But now that date bears down on me and I don't know what to feel anymore. I want to go home, that I know for sure. Yet my decided preparedness to go home 2 months into the program has left me. I no longer feel the desire to retrun home, but perhaps that is a product of my pending return to America. I always want what I can't have because the grass is always greener on the other side and hope springs eternal if I know what awaits me on my set path.

Nek - La Vita E

Saturday night I tagged along with the Sociology of Postwar Italy class to a "night life" site visit. We were lead by Italian to this hole in the wall club. Well okay, first we went to this trendy looking bar with a Hendrix coverband playing. But then we went down the street to some shady looking building. There were no signs, just graffiti and not like a graffiti signs. I'm pretty sure the graffiti had nothing to do with what laid inside. We crowded past the Italians waiting at the entrance and got into the club. It was sort of confusing at first. On stage was some sort of band, but they had no guitars I can remember. All I remember was a lot of brass instruments. It must've been a 12 peice band. It was crazy. But they played only two songs before the left the stage.

The club DJ then started to spin some strange, maybe Middle Eastern music. I think its silly but all the Italians get into the dancing. Now while normal Italian men are forward, here, they don't seem to take too much interest in hitting on people, they simply dance. And by dance I mean flail arms, jump around and do anything they want, in rhythm (or not) to the music. Well, when in Rome... So I and the rest of the Americans jumped in and danced. We moshed, I did whatever I felt like doing, dancewise. It was awesome. No need to worry about meeting the beats because dancing to Beck, Nirvana and oldies don't require too much ability (which I don't have anyways). But what really made the night for me was while I did whatever my heart desired, I thought of somebody I hadn't thought about for a long time. Not just since before I came to Rome but even prior to that. Thinking of her made me happy, realizing where I'd come and how I was able to live in the moment like I'm thinking and hoping she is (and would do) too. It was my best night out in Rome yet.

N'Sync - It's Gonna Be Me Man, how awesome are boy bands?

Italian guys are funny. Its totally normal for people to just stare at other people here in Italy. Like guys can totally be checking out a girl and nobody thinks anything of it. In fact, people can just stare at other people and its completely normal. I'm still not used to it and I try to stare other people down if they look at me for too long. But I do enjoy watching the Italian guys just because they're creepily funny. Perhaps if I hang out with them more I'll adapt some of their traits, haha. I'm still getting the hang of approaching Italian girls. They don't seem to be quite as receptive of foreigners as American girls are of European guys. I don't know, I think I need to drink a little earlier for the liquid confidence. Ha.

Joshua Radin - Closer

hail and cold freeze me
yet rome is still beautiful
and spring in spain waits!

Today in Rome is hailed, twice. The weather here is quite the unpredictable. Once in the morning before I left then again while I was walking to the police station. Strange, but thats Rome huh? Classes started this week. I've got Monsday (Monday and Wednesday) classes only. Its a solid 8 hours of class those two days. Thinking about class makes me want to return to America.

The morning before I was to goto Paris alone I woke up at around 8:30. I felt really nervous for two minutes. But then I just got out of bed and did my routine normally. Paris was alright. I think I kepe saying how much I hate it because I was alone. I mean I met some people, roommates at the hostel, but not speaking French was fairly intimidating. Exploring is fun only when you have somebody to share things with. I've taken away important experience, however, the experience of not ever wanting to travel alone if I can help it, especially not for four days.

I'm not quite in the mood to write anymore, perhaps more whenever I get another chance.

rome is super cool
sometimes i still miss so cal
i love spaghetti!

Hans Zimmer - The Battle

London was fun for a second time. I think its my favorite city in the world. Okay, maybe second to New York City (and Long Beach). Maybe I'll live here sometime. I love the fact that their public transportation is so efficient. I love the accents. I love the international feel of things here. I mean I realize that its largely because of the tourists but fobs are cool people too. Theres the Muji store and girl. She's cute. Only bad thing about this city is the weather. So cold yet cold at the same time. But thats bareable for its awesomeness. Plus, this hostel is really awesome too.

Tomorrow I'm going off to Paris alone. I can't decide if I'm scared, nervous or what. When I made my split decision to go there by myself I was pretty shaken up by my own bravado but since thinking about it, it doesn't seem that awful. I think its because there just isn't anything to be afraid of about it. I'm grown up and money isn't really an issue. Sure the not speaking French thing could be an issue, but as it is I can barely get by on my Italian. Time is running out on my internet cafe time.

Beach Boys - Barbara Ann