Well, Thanksgiving break has started and I haven't posted for nearly two weeks, good for me eh? Ah well. Not much to post really... I guess I found my life much more interesting back in high school. Or maybe its more like I've just got more stuff to do in college.... nahhh.... I don't do anything but play computer games, eat, occassionally study, and talk to other people even more infrequently... or somem other schedule that sounds less loser-like. But now that I'm back home I guess I've got more "alone" time. No, nothing like masturbating or anything stupid like that... you perverts. Anyways.

For Thanksgiving, I did basically the same thing I do every year. Got together with my family and ate a Chinese mixed with American food Thanksgiving feast. It's weird really, but I guess you'd have to be in my family to understand it, or possibly just be Chinese. So at any rate, it was pretty good dinner. We had a Thanksgiving dinner at my dorm dining hall and that actually tasted better, the stuffing and turkey part anyways. Here at home, my Chinese-ized turkey and stuffing wasn't quite what I'd expect from a Thanksgiving dinner. But the Chinese food was certainly welcome, dorm food sucks for the most part.

Well today I was at the mall and I was there to observe the shopping goings-on since it is supposed to be the busiest shopping day of the year, but here in Cerritos at least, it was quite lax. I mean there were quite a few people in the mall, but it wasn't booming with people which certainly isn't a good sign. But anyways, thats not what this is about. Stupid sidetracking. Two odd things happened to me. First of all, I was at Kelly's Coffee at the Cerritos mall and I saw this girl working at the counter who I'd never seen working there before. I go to Kelly's quite a bit, nearly everytime I'm at the mall in fact. Its one of those small Starbuck's like stores, but so much better, coffee and price wise anyways. Its got those wooden floors and coffee beans all over the walls with artsy-fartsy pictures and wooden chairs and tables, you know the type. At any rate, the person working at the counter was strangely familiar and I suddenly realized that it was because I had went to Middle School, or Junior High, whatever you want to call it, with her! Admitedly, she was one of those "cool" people, as far as the social ladder went, and I was just a sociable drifter type who made friends with most people. Its like this one TIME magazine article described about high school. I'm one of those kids who made friends and talked on the phone with all the cool people, but didn't get invited to the parties. Something of that sort.

Well, this girl looked exactly the same, except maybe taller, since middle school, and I can remember having a ... crush on her. Mostly because she paid me attention, and was fairly cute at the time, and now too. But I didn't say a thing to her, well other than my order. I don't even know why. Its not like it would've done anything, but my excuse was that she was busy, and there was a long line... I don't know. So I left that store with only my mocha freeze, which is better than the stupid Frappuchinos from Starbucks by the way.

Okay, so the night continued fairly normally until I got to Sam Goody. On display there was the newest of the new video game consoles, Nintendo's very own Gamecube. There was a demo available to play there and the girl playing there offered me the second controller so I could join her in playing WaveRace. Now this is completely normal right? Two nice people, strangers, just sharing somethign that is free to everybody. But she soon left me to play alone, and I never got a look at her face, or body ;) for that matter but I did talk with her a bit while staring at the TV screen. And what got me after she left went something like "What if she's the girl of my dreams?" I know it sounds really cliche'd and stuff, but what if she was it and I missed my chance right there. Or what if the girl at Kelly's, my old middle school friend was it? However unlikely, what if, huh?

So what this has taught me is that I should stop being such a chicken, introduce myself to people... and Carpe Diem and all that stuff, like Robin Williams says in Dead Poet's Society, applied to a hopeless romantic situation! Please tell me if I'm making no sense what so ever.

Underdog Project - Summer Jam

I came into college believing that I was one step or more ahead of the game, when I'm really on the same step. Its pretty bad. Whenever I try to applaud myself and think that I'm ahead of the game, I'm not. But its okay, at least I get an idea of reality, or rather, my reality anyways. But I've got a long day ahead of me. And I still haven't slept, I spent all night wasting time, and taking 3 hours to do a 20-30 minute assignment. Sigh. Oh well, the troubled life of a college student eh?

The Little Mermaid - Part of Your World

I'm just too damn picky. College is supposed to help you make new friends and all that stuff, and while I've made new friends and that "stuff" I've also found that I'm becoming more and more selective. I keep looking for a girlfriend. Well not really, but a life partner of sorts, or whatever you'd want to call it and I can't seem to find anybody who I can imagine myself with in the future. I don't know if its because I'm afraid of different things, I know that I'm afraid of change, but I'm not sure if its the difference in reality and my dreams that I'm afraid of, or if its something else. And as with everything, its probably a combination of everything. A combination of my fear of change, failure, and general bad luck. Heh.

I've also recently found that I should avoid staying in the same place for very long with people, and in life. After a while, I get stuck in a rut. I'm not one of those people who starts strong and finishes strong, or stronger. I just start strong and I fade from there. Maybe thats a bad sign for me and a bad omen for my future. Damnit, why can't I just be more darn positive. Blah.

I did pretty darned well on my mid-terms this first quarter of college. I mean I haven't really gotten the grades back yet or anything, but just coming out of the tests, I feel that I finished strong :) Or at least I'm strong half-way through, which is more than I can say for most of my efforts. But this Blogspot post has just disturbed me from my studying in the middle of the night, so I'll depart on that somewhat positive note. Wheeeeee.

Aaliyah - Rock the Boat

Oops, closed the window so I'm having to retype this, ugh. Anyways, I was talking about yesterday, I mentioned a post about the shower that I never bothered to post. Well, a few weeks ago, I was in my dorm room and getting ready to go take a shower and I get my soap, Irish Spring, for those of you who care, and my shampoo, Finesse and I got my towel and walked across the hallway into the restroom to take a shower, and to my surprise, there was someone else in there taking a shower already. Now before you people start to say things, this has no homosexual connotations whatsoever, so I don't want to be getting any of those stupid email's saying "you're homophobic" or stuff like that. But then again, any email about my blogspot would be nice... ehh... whatever, go ahead and gay bash me, I don't care.

Well, anyways, it was 3 AM and thats when I usually take a shower and theres usually nobody in there. I don't really mind that someone else was in there, but I figured it could potentially be very awkward. At any rate, I did what I usually did, got undressed, and got into the shower, and as I was taking a shower and the guy (assumedly) was in the next stall and I was putting soap on my nekkid self, I couldn't help but wonder "What if I dropped the soap, and it skidded over to the other shower stall?" I kept thinking this because I guess I felt really awkward about asking another naked man for soap, for one reason or another. Yeah, I know it sounds stupid, but thats what I kept thinking.

Well now that I wasted a sufficient amount of your time with that pointless information, I don't really have anything to say now. But I will try to entertain.

Lately, I've been thinking about this whole girlfriend/boyfriend thing. I think I'm too damn picky. I mean I say that stolen line from a friend of mine of "beggars can't be choosers" but in reality, I'm quite picky. Like I'll think things about women. I don't want to sound self-centered or anything like that but whenever a girl might have liked me, whether she did or not, I'd think about 10-15 years down the road and if I could see them with me still. Its odd really, I think like a girl almost. Well a stereotypical, Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks romantic comedy watching girl anyways. I long for that feeling "you only read about in trashy romance novels" as Kevin Smith put so well in Chasing Amy, which, by the way, has become one of my favorite movies. I only wish I could think of something so romantic to say, as Holden McNeil (Ben Affleck) said in that really good movie. So I'll leave you with a quote like this. I want to feel like the following:

"I love you. And not, not in a friendly way, although I think we're great friends. And not in a misplaced affection, puppy-dog way, although I'm sure that's what you'll call it. I love you. Very, very simple, very truly. You are the epitome of everything I have ever looked for in another human being. And I know that you think of me as just a friend, and crossing that line is the furthest thing from an option you would ever consider. But I had to say it. I just, I can't take this anymore. I can't stand next to you without wanting to hold you. I can't, I can't look into your eyes without feeling that, that longing you only read about in trashy romance novels. I can't talk to you without wanting to express my love for everything you are. And I know this will probably queer our friendship - no pun intended - but I had to say it, because I've never felt this way before, and I don't care. I like who I am because of it. And if bringing this to light means we can't hang out anymore, then that hurts me. But God, I just, I couldn't allow another day to go by without just getting it out there, regardless of the outcome, which by the look on your face is to be the inevitable shoot-down. And, you know, I'll accept that. But I know...I know that some part of you is hesitating for a moment, and if there is a moment of hesitation, then that means you feel something too. All I ask, please, is that you just, you just not dismiss that - and try to dwell in it for just ten seconds. Alyssa, there isn't another soul on this fucking planet who has ever made me half the person I am when I'm with you, and I would risk this friendship for the chance to take it to the next plateau. Because it is there between you and me. You can't deny that. Even if, you know, even if we never talk again after tonight, please know that I'm forever changed because of who you are and what you've meant to me, which - while I do appreciate it - I'd never need a painting of birds bought at a diner to remind me of."
-Kevin Smith, via Holden McNeil (Ben Affleck) in Chasing Amy

Billie Myers - Kiss the Rain (Chasing Amy Remix)

Okay, well I've tried to, or begun to post several times in the last few weeks but either I got bored and stopped typing, or I realized that anything I had to say wasn't very important at all. But tonight, after doing a lot of nothing, watching reruns of Boy Meets World, one of the shows that I have come to judge my life on... sickening really. I was watching it on the Disney Channel of all stations. Well, the last few times I wanted to post and couldn't for various reasons, I had interesting things to say about college, like the showers, and girls, and other stuff, but I just couldn't put myself up to posting. I'm so lazy. As you can tell, thats a theme for me here.

Tonight, I've actually been really nostalgic. Well, actually, not just tonight, but a lot of nights. I think I'm falling back into my old rut of depressing thoughts. Its sad really. I was reading at ABCNews.com about post-traumatic stress disorder following the tragedy of 9-11 and I realized that I think its affected me too. I mean I haven't really been directly affected, especially since most of the happenings are all on the east coast, but... in some indirect way, its affected me. I'm still sorting it out, but it has, without a doubt. Maybe more on this later. I'm going to try to force myself to write with more frequency, for the millionth time in the short time I've had this blogspot.

As far as a World Series prediction goes, I wanted Seattle and Atlanta, so this is just suck. I don't want either team, but I think that the Diamondbacks are going to win, but I'm not going to cheer for either team.

Shakira - Suerte