There have been so many moments here in Rome that I already have probably forgotten. I've heard of people getting so drunk and forgetting what they've done and I'm not sure if I can be like that. I certainly enjoy drinking, don't get me wrong, but forgetting whats going on seems like its a waste of time. I don't know, I also can't figure this wine business out either. Some wine tastes "alright" but I'd never pick it over a nice lemonade or iced tea. But I'm trying. Maybe I just haven't found the right one yet. Just like I haven't found that happy medium between tipsy and tipping over and forgetting your entire evening.

THe other day I was wandering around here in Roma by Termini (the main traffic hub) and I wandered by a pet store. I saw some very cute dogs in the window and there was a lady up next to the puppies tapping at the class and the doggies were reacting to her. She kept saying cutesy things in Italian and I stood up next to the glass too in order to better admire the dogs. Dogs, by the way, are quite popular here in Roma and so well behaved. I hardly hear any barking and dogs don't seem to need tying up either. They can be left alone when eating dinner and most places allow dogs, including most stores. I love it. So after spending a minute or two at the pet shop window I noticed some other people looking at the pets and I saw an old guy, maybge 60-70 smoking a cigarette (everybody smokes, luckily they just passed a law banning smoking in public places before I arrived) and he stood a good 10 feet back looking at the dogs. I walked a ways away and continued to watch the guy and he kept watching the dogs whilst enjoying (I assume) his cigarette and then he left. I realized something then, life and people here in Roma are much the same as they are back home. Men are still unwilling to show their emotions, the opposite of women. The lady went straight up to the dog to tap on the glass and express her fondess for the canine kind while the man stood back and watched from afar. Maybe he was just checking out the ladies. They do that a whole lot here too.

Another Roma moment:

Isn't the idea of travelling abroad to take in another culture? I think thats what people say. But home is always home. Sure, Roma does have a certain home-y feel to it now, but when I went into McDonald's the other day it was the most delicious Big Mac I'd ever had in my life. And French Fries never tasted so good. They were like golden sticks of potato-ey oragsm. Why I do believe somebody described it as "I almost cried when I ate my Big Mac." (not me, but it was sooo delicious) I've been to McDonald's two times since and I've been abroad barely 3 weeks.

Then today while wandering I found out about the existence of something I missed very much. I was almost giddy to find out about it. I went into this market and I thought the shopkeeper was Chinese but she turned out to be Vietnamese. After buying some very expensive asian products (re: instant noodles) I left the store. But then a minute after leaving it hit me! I ran back into the store and in probably the worst Italian grammar ever I asked her if she knew any Pho restaurants. When she told me, she wrote down the address, and phone number, which she knew off the top of her head (guess the Asians all know each other) I almost skipped out of the store.

The point is, why, if I'm supposed to be experiencing and enjoying these new cultures and ways of life do I constantly find myself looking for familiar foods, products, and things in general. I thought my not being sad about leaving home (or my un-homesickness) meant that I would be ready to live life type thing, yet my continued discovery of how much I love Ronald McDonald, Vietnamese food and white rice (we also went to a not very good Chinese restaurant) has forced me to take a new perspective on things. Thats probably what people mean you never know what you have until its gone. I can't wait to have some Pho tomorrow.

Modungo - Nel Blu DiPinto Di Blu

I've been abroad for about 10 days now. I haven't talked to anybody back in the United States since I was in London, except a few words here and there on AIM. I have no idea whats going on. Well okay, I did email my parents to tell them that Rome is cold but other than that, I've detached myself. I don't know what that means yet. And I don't mean to sound superior to others (although, I suppose, I often think that I am, unfortunately) I've heard people talk about how they feel homesick and I've seen it in some cases. But when I was at LAX I wasn't particularly sad about leaving home for 4 months. And now that I'm here, I keep thinking there will be a general time when I, and others, will start feeling that longing for home, but I can't say that I have, at all. I'm glad that I am able to adjust and I'm not attached to anybody or thing back home but in the same notion, its sad that I am so disconected that I am able to leave everything behind without any emotional attachment.

At any rate, Rome is fun. Went to Campo di Fiore by night, which is really just a big area with a lot of bars and American people. I've seen many of the historical sites and photographed some, but I've also begun to just take them for granted as I think many Romans do. Its awesome that they're like right next door to my apartment and for that reason they become easily absorbed into daily life and don't stand out as something that represents the course of human history. Maybe when my historical classes start I'll have a better understanding for these great monuments. First test tomorrow. Mi piace studiare Italiano.

Vasco Rossi - Un Senso My favorite Italian song, ever.

Hey hey! My first and probably last post from London. One week ago I was just lounging around my house and now I won't be home for four months. All through the last quarter at school and into the winter break while I was working I was so totally excited about going abroad, but then the week of my impending departure, I was very not excited at all about it. Then I didn't pack till the last moment, true to form.

The plane ride was very cramped but pleasant surprises at every turn. I'd never been on a plane with personal televisions so I got to watch The Forgotten, an episode of the Simpsons and an episode of Friends and most of the movie Confidence. I didn't sleep much and when we got the London the next morning I wasn't much tired either. We just wandered around the neighborhood near Paddington Station and now I've become a London pro, at least for this area. Today was fun, we took a bus tour and wandered and tried to see everything in one day.

London is very confusing. These darned "look right" instead of looking left when crossing the street still throws me off. And the shops closed at 7pm on a Tuesday. So all of that was very boring but I still can't get enough of people's accents. They're quite delightful. I even had somebody say "Cheerio." Hilarious! I ought to stick to stereotypes to and use the word "dude" as often as possible, being from California and all. Anyways, this keyboard pisses me off, cheers from London.

About a year ago I wrote something about an FAO Schwartz on Fifth Avenue in NYC that was changing and going out of business. I came to the conclusion that people, myself included, don't like it when things change because it only serves to remind them of their own temporary existence in the present. Anyways recently in the Los Angeles Times was an article that described the re-opening of the FAO Schwartz. I can't decide what this means exactly, perhaps while things will always be changing, somehow they'll still be the same? I don't know.

I haven't written in a while because I'm lazy. But sometime last week my mom asked me straight out if I thought she has been a good parent. I sort of mumbled some answer and played it off. Since then over the past week or so she's constantly been saying things like "I think that I've been too nice to you and I'm going to change my parenting ways" or saying "I'm sorry I didn't let you have a dog when you were younger" and regretful things of the kind. I think all of this started because she's been talking with one of her friends, whose son is what we could call a "problem child" and all of my mom's friends have gotten together to decide what they can do about it and what they could've done better. I've sort of ignored most of of what she's said or just played it off, mostly because I have no idea what to tell her.

I totally want to yell "Yes, thats right! You should've let me get a dog!" Or "Why were you so freakin' mean when I was a kid, I was doing fine in school and you didn't have to go and transfer me!" But I know that would be wrong. What are the criteria for being a good parent? Being an only child, it seems as though I am the only life acomplishment for my parents, and its a big burden, now that I've recognized what I (and other children) represent. I certainly can't say my parents have been by any stretch of the imagination, bad parents. I've always had food on my table to eat and I've never been without a place to sleep. I know my parents are good people, they've done what they believe is best for me and is that all I, or anyone can ask? I think yes, but then why do I hesitate to tell my mom that I think she's done her best and that should be good enough for anybody? Some deep-seated resentfulness for not letting me have a dog? Inability to communicate true emotions because of my traditional upbringing? Probably not that first one and maybe some of that second one.

The Dodgers are driving me INSANE! Skip this paragraph if you don't care about the Dodgers, you bastards. First they string me along, saying things like Beltre is our top priority and stuff. They sign Jeff Kent to presumably fill in at 2nd or possibly 1st base. Then there are unbelievably awesome rumors about the Dodgers getting Tim Hudson. After making the playoffs and winning a game for the first time in some 15 years, I'd think the team is pretty solid. And with this offseason, it could only get better right? I mean there are some solid free agents out there, Carlos Delgado, who is Shawn Green's best friend, Richie Sexson? Okay, well then in the same day, the impossible happens. Adrian Beltre, who I've suffered 4 up and down years of "potential" to see him explode in 2004, signs with the Seattle Mariners. WHAT THE HELL!? Fine, I can accept the fact that maybe Paul Depodesta doesn't think he's worthy of $13mil per year, but can we risk it? I want to and have tried to defend the Dodger management for their offseason moves (or lack thereof) but from what I'm hearing and reading, its getting depressing. I'll still be a Dodger fan, but unless they can show some sign of good faith that they aren't just skimping on money... I may have to fall in line to boycott Frank McCourt and his Boston-loving ass. How are you gonna raise ticket and parking prices, tell people Adrian Beltre is the top priority, then off and let him go, with a lowball offer. I think the worst part about it is there are rumors they plan to sign J.D. Drew, an oft-injured outfielder, for about the same money. WHAT ARE YOU THINKING!? All of this Dodgers stuff makes me depressed. They've ruined my Christmas. Speaking of which, Merry Christmas.

I can't wait to goto Italy. Tomorrow I'll find out if I have to quit my job because they won't give me a personal leave of absence. All this time I've been thinking how much I want to keep the job and after hearing that its unlikely that they granted me a leave of absence I was only slightly upset about it. I truly do wish I can continue working at Disneyland. Its been really fun. But I think I'm at a point where its okay for me to move on, if thats what I have to do.

Rachel Yamagata - Worn Me Down

Jeez, I can't believe W Bush won again. I mean sure, mathematically Kerry can still win the elction, but its like saying mathematically the Clippers can still win the NBA Finals any season, it just doesn't happen. I can't figure out what those midwest states are thinking. Maybe it just shows how biased I am living on the left coast.