Well, this may seem as though I'm posting at such an early time in the morning because I've somehow re-adjusted my sleeping schedule to the schedule that normal people have. Well, no, I haven't, I haven't slept since yesterday when I woke up and I'm only starting to feel tired right now. Anyways, after a night of slacking off, I started to watch Good Will Hunting and they have reminded me of some not so happy things I've been thinking about. I wouldn't say they're depressing, but I'm sure they're not healthy really. I don't know if whomever reads this site, most likely nobody, who reads this have seen Good Will Hunting, but if you'll remember, there is the professor who "helps" Will Hunting out by making him go see Robin Williams, yada yada. At any rate, theres this scene in which Will brings a math proof to the professor who questions one of the answers or whatever you call it, I'm not much of a math person. And Will goes on to say something like "Trust me, I'm sure its right." And that professor is like "But but..." And then they have an argument about how the Will has the ability to do this proof because its "so simple" for him but the professor could barely comprehend it. And then the professor rambles on about how Will is throwing his talent away, blah blah, sleepless nights, etc. etc. But that isn't really relevant to what gets to me.

Somebody recently was discussing what their "greatest fear" was and their response was something like "being alone" and not a "oh no, I'm alone in my house and the Scream guy is going to get me" type thing but like a growing old alone type thing which I completely understand. And thats certainly a fear that I've got what my fear is sort of like the professor from Good Will Hunting. What if I'm not unique, or nobody is unique? What if there is somebody out there who can do everything I do, but one-up me? Certainly theres nobody exactly alike, so I'm not quite sure how I'd put this, but what if theres a person out there who is able to do everything i pride myself on doing, but better. Certainly there will be somebody better at everything, but it won't be the same person who is better, its an assortment of different people, like basketball. Everybody is better than me at that, and being whiny, what if somebody is better than me at that too!? Basically, what if there is somebody out there who is better at being me than I am at being me? I realize this sounds sort of crazy, but those are the feelings that I get when I see scenes like the scene in Good Will Hunting.

Anyways, enough of that. Go watch National Lampoon's Van Wilder. Its funny and there are hot women, including, but not limited to, Tara Reid and Ivana Bozilovic. They're really hot. And theres a funny Indian guy too, he's "pimpin" funny. Go watch it, you'll understand.

And more good news, the Dodgers are whooping ass again! They swept the Colorado Rockies. Ishii-mania baby!

Things I like: #5 The smell of money.

Wyclef Jean - We Trying to Stay Alive

This is disgusting. Barry Bonds has got four home runs in two games. Do you know what that means? He's on a pace to hit 324 home runs this season. And to further disgust me, his first four home runs have come against my beloved Dodgers. Oh, and the fact that I didn't bother to draft Barry Bonds for any of my fantasy leagues doesn't help either. At this point, the Dodgers are losing to the San Francisco Giants 12-0. Or as any San Fran person might say, "the Dodgers are losing hella bad." The Dodgers have three hits, at the start of the sixth. The Giants, fourteen. But its okay, us Dodger fans are still optimistic. Well I am anyways. And like Vin Scully said earlier in the fifth inning, "It could be worse."

*Sigh* "At the end of six, Giants 12, Dodgers zip!" says Vin Scully. Hopefully it won't get much worse before it gets better.

Anyways, I'm back at school now after a largely uneventful spring break. On my second day back to school, I was playing basketball and I stepped onto my friends foot and rolled my ankle, spraining it. So I went back, iced it, got an ankle brace and went to play later that nigt. Lo and behold, I did the exact same thing to the other ankle. Woo hoo. Luckily, the doctor tells me nothings broken and it should heal fine as long as I follow this handout they gave me.

Things I like: #4 The "hiss" sound that soda cans make when you open them.

Michael Jackson - Billie Jean

Went to Huntington Beach today for a "bonfire" which started out not very well organized and turned out pretty well. We started out not having food, firewood or anything to do there and we ended up with stolen firewood from the back of an Albertson's, some chips and 2-liter bottles of Cherry 7-Up and still nothing to do. But its okay, because we "enjoyed each others company" so to say. Better than staying home for sure.

I really ought to sleep earlier. When I stay up late at night, I end up doing things I regret. Almost always I regret what I do the night before. Good thing that most of the time that I stay up I'm at home and I can't do anything really embarassing or harmful. During spring break I've been making purchases on eBay. While my purchases are not outrageous and I'm not overbidding the value of the thing, I find that when I wake up in the morning I think to myself "I don't really need that..."

Things I Like: #3 The smell of rain.

Nelly f/ St. Lunatics - Batter Up

Second spring break post. Bleh.

I was going through some of my old stuff while "spring cleaning" seeing as how its "spring" break and all. And because I have nothing better to do. But lets just say I wanted to clean up and I wasn't doing so due to boredom. At any rate, I was reading some of the stuff I wrote, my journal's from earlier and other school work I did in my early high school years. It really seemed like I had a lot more fun then, and reading through my journal I can almost pinpoint where my life began to spin out of control to where it is now. Not the crappy grades and lazy attitude I mean, but my mental health. And not really "out of control" because I'm still in some control, but I know when I became what I am now. But I don't want to talk about that here anyways, a bit too personal.

In reading through my old stuff, I came across some letters and stuff too that I exchanged with people back then, a few years ago. It would seem that I had more (and better) friends overall back then. I mean I've got friends now, but I guess I was more social back then. Now, not so much. College hasn't been the paradise I expected. My grades aren't horrible because school is pretty easy, so thats cool (I got a 3.36 Winter Quarter) but what Animal House and all those television shows and movies about college have told me about what college will be like. Sure, its only been a few months in freshman year, but it just hasn't been cool. But thats probably just me. As far as the friends thing goes, I keep thinking that the good friends that I did try to keep aren't really all that great. Not that the people themselves aren't good people, they are, but its just that I'm no longer good friends with them and the people who I'm no longer really trying to be friends with any more are the people who I should've tried to be good friends with in the first place. Or maybe I'm just bitter... yeah, its probably that.

Things I like: #2 When you wake up in the morning (or any time) and you get out of bed and you stretch out and like half of your joints/bones crack, that feels really really good

Sam Cooke - Wonderful World Its the Animal House song that goes "Don't know much about history, don't know much biology..." etc.

Time to update again! w00t!

Its spring break for me and most UC students and so far all I've done is stay at home. I did go watch Resident Evil. It was pretty good actually, considering all I wanted to see was some zombie ass-whooping and a hot girl doing it, I was very pleased. Good action, some good suspense/terror and all around a good waste of 2 hours of my life. I suppose I'll be doing mostly the same things that everybody is doing this spring break, going job hunting and fooling around due to a lack of schoolwork, lucky us.

At the end of the school year after finals, my hall at UCR decided to take a trip to Las Vegas on a whim. It turned out that we did nothing at all there. We spent the night in this shitty hotel called Tam O'Shanter. It cost me almost $60 smakeroos but at least it was on the strip (across from Treasure Island). When we arrived in Vegas in the afternoon, we walked the strip to find a "cheap" buffet, but as most people know there are no "cheap" buffets, not under $10 bucks anyways. Its not as though its not worth paying $11.95 for shrimp and steak, especially at Bellagio or some other fancy hotel. At any rate, we ended up eating Panda Express, which while very tasty, wasn't what I expected from Las Vegas. Then we went to sleep, woke up around 11:00pm, did nothing while getting the car which we parked on another part of the strip and went back to the hotel. Since nobody seemed to want to even walk around, I took a walk around 2:30am and played some arcade, chatted up with some security guards and explored some hotels on my own. Let me tell you now, Las Vegas is quite unlike New York City. It is not the city that never sleeps. By 3:30 the only people out on the streets and in the casinos numbered less than 300 people. The number on the streets, not including taxis and cars could fit into my dormroom. So a boring night ensued, needless to say. We then returned from Vegas, making a stop at the Calico Ghost Town and Barstow. All in all, I'd have to say that this road trip, while more entertaning than a night at the dorms, considering all the money spent and the fun factor of both, I'd take a night at the dorms over this.

This road trip experience has merely cheapened Las Vegas for me. Sure, Las Vegas isn't really cool unless you're 21, but still, the fact that I just picked up and went to Vegas, did nothing and came back just cheapened the idea of going to Las Vegas. Before this, Las Vegas was something you planned for. And not planning for it, while it seems interesting and spontaneous, resulted in getting a crappy hotel... no, motel room that only had basic channels (plus ESPN and CNN) and no remote control. The next time I goto Vegas I want to have stuff to do, or maybe go with people who are willing to just browse and hang out with the people you are there with, rather than re-enact a night at the dormitories in Las Vegas by sleeping and not doing anything. And the next time I go on a road trip, I expect people to have their money and for the road trip to have a focused point, even if its as stupid as "I want to see what the Grand Canyon looks like." I'll have more articulated thoughts about this later, probably.

Oh, and in addtion to my listing the MP3 that I'm listening to, I will now list something that I like about life, in an effort to lighten up my life, after every post (so hopefully I'll have lots of posts).

#1 The feeling of hot plates at a buffet line. Not just warm, like when they are almost hot enough to burn you, and you pick them up, they feel good. Unless you're using the plate for salad, then that sucks.

American Hi-Fi - Another Perfect Day