Today I ran in Nike's RunHitRemix. I watched De La Soul, Vanilla Ice, Digital Underground and other groups play as I ran 5 miles. It was fun and despite having to wake up at 6 AM I enjoyed it a lot. I also love getting free stuff at the end of the run. I ate so many free nutrition bars and I drank like 4 or 5 mini Jamba Juices. Then I ate some seafood. Actually, it was a lot of seafood. I think I need to go to more exercise events and I need to eat at new restaurants more often.

I realized something weird the other day. After leaving the place I've been working for 3 years I wasn't extremely sad, although I definately do miss people. But then on Sunday night, after my first shift out of the area, I was watching Extreme Makeover, Home Edition and in the episode Ty builds this house for some deserving family, like always, and I got really emotional watching that. What the heck is that? I leave my friends of the last 3 years and I hardly feel anything but watching 1 hour of Ty Pennington show a blind and deaf family their new home makes me sad and emotional? Jeez. Anyways, I don't know if its good that I am emotionally detached from my own life or if its good that I can empathize with a family on television getting something they really deserve.

John Mayer - Gravity

Recently I got worried that my friendships were fading away from me because I was spending less time with people. And now I'm moving to a new location I don't know how to feel. Leaving isn't easy. The only thing I can equate this to is leaving high school, except this time I'm the only person leaving and other people are staying. Graduating from college was different simply because I wasn't involved in the every day lives of a lot of people, not like my work is now, where I see people 3 or 4 times a week. When people quit I tell them things like "I hope you do good at..." and "Call me, we'll myspace" or whatever, but I only say that because I don't want to say "Have a good life" even though that is probably what it comes down to. Most people who quit, I won't talk to again. So why does it matter to me now that I'm the one leaving and people aren't more sad that I'm leaving when I wasn't all that sad when others left? It feels good to be missed and wanted I think. Leaving high school was different because everybody was leaving in one way or another for new beginnings, but for me, leaving Paradise Pier means I'm the only one and as much as I don't want to admit it, the people that I've known for the past three years will simply move on, just like I did after others I've known have quit or gone other places.

I think my feelings are somewhat exacerbated by the past two or three months during which I made some extremely stupid mistakes, friendship wise. And my leaving will only continue to push me further away from people with whom I've spent so much time with the last three years of my life. I hate that my leaving becomes a litmus test of my friendships with people. But maybe it becomes a test for me too, to see who I truly value as a friend. Friendship is a two way street, or some stupid analogy like that. I think that I'm willing to make an effort so hopefully others are too. But regardless, I'm glad that I spent the past three years with everyone and I've had a ton of fun and I wish everyone the best.

"Before you can say you can't at all
There's no excuse this time don't be afraid to fly
You never know what day the doors will close
It's time to say goodbye time to pack up and ride
Got to leave this place it's been cool but I gotta go"

Outkast f/ Sleepy Brown & Scar - The Train