Today I got my photos back from Rome. I had this plan to take photos of everybody in the program with an old point and shoot film camera. I still like the surprise of seeing my pictures instead of the instant results of the digital camera. Or at least I thought I would. Instead my photos really turned out to be a giant crap shoot. Some turned out how I imagined they would, but others were disappointing. And then others I just didn't even remember taking. But I'm glad I took these photos, even the bad ones. The photos from my digital camera are mostly viewable because I already filtered out ones that had poor lighting or were out of focus. I think learning to accept the failures of my photography with the successes teaches me a lesson. I have to deal with the fact that I've got to just accept what I have right now in this moment because thats all I'll ever have.

The last 3 weeks I've been home I've been trying to post something relevant about Rome. I've searched the depths of my memories for some meaning or something tangible that I can point to in order to sum up my experiences. But for some reason everytime I think of Rome all I can think about is how delicious the world's "4th best pizza" in Piazza Risorgimento is. I only ate there twice, both times during the last week of the program yet thats what comes to mind first and almost immediately. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to feel about it all. I certainly don't want to forget any of it, but I realize that I have already forgotten more than I can afford to.

I think the thing about Rome I miss was the exploration. Certainly the free time to do the exploring was helpful, but being in such a different environment lent itself to a lot of discovery. And whats more, is that all of this discovery was done on foot, for the most part. Although I missed driving and I still enjoy it, there is a certain disconnectedness about it. Walking places forced me to absorb the surroundings. Here at home, I even drive to the grocery store, although its not far, a mere 5 minutes by car. But walking? I couldn't even tell you, but I'd guess at least 20 minutes. Life and society is just different here, obviously. (Revelations continue to evade me...)

Imogen Heap - Hide and Seek