The adventure in Rome ends this week. I fear that I'm leaving this episode of my life much the same as when I entered it. I don't feel as though I've grown immensely as a person because of this trip and perhaps that was just how I am. I certainly have learned a lot and met some new, interesting and fun people, but on a personal level I feel more lost than ever.

People say that they regret not having done certain things, particularly on my program and that certainly applies to me as well. I was thinking about when the first time I met some of the people on this program was. Not over 4 months ago, obviously, yet I couldn't remember. I went over to some people's apartment tonight to ask them if they remembered, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. It seemed to me asking such a thing would constitute some breach of the friendship, although I'm sure it means nothing. Our first encounter was simply uneventful because of the large numbers of new people we met in such a short period of time.

Over the course of the last month, thinking about home made me wish the departure date couldn't come sooner. Its not that I was having an awful time in Rome, I certainly am not, but the thought of home made me feel good. Perhaps it was knowing what was there awaiting me. But now that date bears down on me and I don't know what to feel anymore. I want to go home, that I know for sure. Yet my decided preparedness to go home 2 months into the program has left me. I no longer feel the desire to retrun home, but perhaps that is a product of my pending return to America. I always want what I can't have because the grass is always greener on the other side and hope springs eternal if I know what awaits me on my set path.

Nek - La Vita E