Christmas time is here!

Oops, I mean Christmas time is over!

I got lots of money for Christmas, good for paying credit card bills. Credit cards will ruin your life I tell ya. But I can't do without them now.

Know what I've been doing all break? Working and sleeping. Thats what I do, I work, then I sleep, then I work. And sprinkle in some television.

I was reading the LA Times a few weeks ago, and there was this article about the FAO Schwartz on Fifth Ave. in New York City. It was about how the store was going bankrupt and having this 50% off clearance sale. The article at first was about how those elitist Fifth Avenue people thought that by having a tacky clearance sale made the store look cheap, but then it talked about how FAO had become a landmark. It was about how it had been there for so long and now that it was possibly closing that it was only another symbolic change for the modernization of a city that once had a very neighborhood-ly feel to it. This got me thinking too. A few years back, when Lucky's got bought by Albertson's my local Lucky's became an Albertson's and that was disconcerting. Then it closed and became a 99 Cents Only store.

And as crazy as it sounds, I was sad when Lucky's became Albertson's. Its just that Lucky's was the store I went to, I had memories at that store. Like I rode my bike there when I was younger but for the longest time I couldn't figure out why I was so upset. I thought I was becoming disturbed and that it was insane of me to be distraught over a store merely changing names. I mean they even had commercials showing Albertson's and Lucky's symbolically getting married. Albeit somewhat disturbing, they were comforting.

I was young then, of course, and after reading that article, I found out something about myself and about people in general. I was certainly upset over Lucky's becoming Albertson's, but that wasn't the whole thing. I realized that it was because of what Lucky's represents. The change from Lucky's to Albertson's was almost like my change from youth to teenager. (Somewhat abstract a metaphor, but you get the idea) People (myself included), for the most part, dislike change because while change is bad, its the what the change represents. It reminds people that things DO, in fact, change and that people you love will change (and unfortunately die), things you love will change and well, things can never stay the same forever, no matter how happy you are.

Incubus - Echo

Just got back from Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King. Wow, that was a long movie. I want to say it was totally awesome, but honestly, it wasn't. Not to say that it wasn't very very good, and certainly better than Matrix: Revolutions. Maybe its because I already knew what was going to happen. Or maybe its because I really had to pee and decided to hold it instead of missing part of the movie.

It almost feels like blasphemy to say that it wasn't one of the best movies ever. I feel wrong even saying that the movie wasn't awesome beyond my wildest beliefs because I can't imagine it being done better, short of finding tens of thousands of people, and filming them killing each other. Then finding real elves and a dwarf to help out. Then having Ian McKellen really learn magic and smoke weed and become a wizard. So I guess my expectations were just too high, unattainably high, in fact.

I can't say I was disappointed, Peter Jackson didn't leave me wanting more, but rather, wishing there were more. Hopefully rumors that he'll make the Hobbit will come true and he will. But as far as LOTR goes, its one of the best trilogies ever, right up there with episodes 4, 5 and 6, Back to the Future and Indiana Jones. Thats the triumvirate right there. And ROTK? Well it didn't have Ewoks in it. Next time I watch it (and there will definately be a next time, and a next time after that) I'll be sure to clear my bladder first so I can ensure full, uninteruppted enjoyment.

Good job Peter Jackson and crew.

Annie Lennox - Into the West

Talk about bad karma.

I'll make this short and to the point. I'm taking this Roman Republic class and I had planned to study for the midterm with some guy I met in the class. But I didn't show up that day and I didn't call either because I didn't have his phone number (although to be fair he didn't call me to see if I was running late, I'd given him my phone number). I ended up ace'ing the test we were supposed to study for and I didn't talk to that guy again, even though we see each other in class everyday. Well fast forward to this week. Our teacher had given us a term paper assignment and my other friend and I missed class the day he gave the prompt out. That same day he also handed out a study guide for the second test. Well, since he never mentioned the study guide again, we both bombed the second exam. And we didn't find out about the term paper prompt till earlier this week and by the time we got around to doing any work, its now 4AM and my paper is going to suck ass, if I can even get it done.

I figure if me or my friend, or both of us, had shown up at the first scheduled study session, bombing the second test and/or screwing up this term paper wouldn't have happened since the guy we ditched would've been another person in the class that we could've gotten anything we missed that ONE day we missed class. That was the only day of class I missed and the teacher hands out two vital things. Anyways, I'm resigned to getting a C in that class already. Boo hoo. This'll teach me not to ditch people, if that guy even showed in the first place.

Also, I've decided that grades aren't that important to me any more. Seriously, for this Roman Republic class, I went to class every day and I learned tons of stuff I consider valuable, its just I messed up on one exam (of two that he has, plus a final) and that same day he also happened to hand out the term paper prompt. I'll probably get a C in the class, but in the end I'll have learned a lot more in this class than in other classes I've gotten A's in, like US History 1945-Present.

Xena - The Ballad of Joxer The Mighty!

There are times in life when you think somebody is trying to send you a message. I was standing at the bus stop today and I saw this couple sitting together. I didn't think anything of it since it was the same couple at the bus stop every time I'm there. Suddenly a UPS truck flys by the bus stop, obviously in a hurry. Then I saw another couple, they were hugging. Then I saw this guy walking down the steps and then he tapped some girl on the shoulder and they hugged and walked off together. A sign? A coincidence? Well I was thinking the same thing to myself. But just then, out of the corner of my eye, I spotted towards the other side of the street, the UPS truck going slower, probably returning from its hurried delivery just a few moments earlier. Yeah, so the moral here is probably don't hurry into things because you'll end up just coming back to where you started.

Or else its just I need to find something to do while waiting for the bus, like a book to read or something because otherwise next time I'll be coming up with some crazy scenarios about the UPS driver being Cupid and deciding that he'll simply shoot people with guns instead of a bow and arrow. See? Crazy!

This quarter is not going well for me. I don't know if its because I work every weekend or if its simply because I'm lazier. Probably the laziness catching up to me with 4 upper-division classes instead of those easy lower-divisions. I've got two essays due on Friday I haven't started on and I've got work all Thursday so we'll see how that pans out. I had planned to get some work done tonight, but here I am, having done not much of it and writing this silly crap. My bed calls to me, as does nature and I will answer both... but not in that order hopefully.

Oh, and since nobody wanted to trade me tickets, after emailing like 5 eBay ticket sellers I've decided to sell my own Acoustic Christmas tickets on eBay. I need the money anyways after that fatass rent-a-cop at Ralphs towed my car and cost me $155 bucks. Fuck him.

Yellowcard - Rough Draft

I don't know where I read it, but somewhere I saw a quote about "If you stop growing, you start dying." But the gist of it is there. Anyways, I think with this whole fraternity thing, I tried to find somewhere I belong, or perhaps to become more popular, I'm still not sure after quitting for nearly 2 weeks now. However, those who did pledge I've seen noticeable changes in. They said something about not wanting to leave college the same person and I thought this was a good point, and certainly tied into that first quote. However, not all change is good. Change for the sake of change is redundant at best, and at worst, the unnecessary changes may result in undesired results.

Smashing Pumpkins - 1979

So I got tickets to KROQ's Almost Acoustic Christmas for Sunday, a mistake, and now I'm not sure if I should go see bands I don't really want to see, or just sell my tickets on eBay. I could always use the extra $50-75 that I'd get, but if I could get Saturday tickets, oooh, Linkin Park and Offspring. Sunday's only got 311 that I'd really want to see. Blech. Save me Jeebus. Oh and now I must find someone to go with me, although I bet that won't be too much of a problem.

So anyways, a couple weeks ago I was wearing my cool Longfellow Lions t-shirt that was my dad's from when I was in elementary school. I was walking on campus when I saw this girl who I went to elementary school with. It was pretty exciting but I only got to say a few words because she was late for class. I haven't seen her since. Honestly though, I can't remember much about her, but I do remember the way she ran because when I was a kid I thought it was the weirdest thing. It was like she ran on her toes and it looked like she was hopping. Anyways, I think I'd like to talk to her, just to see whats going on and perhaps not act so weird and say something like "Nice to meet you again," when I meant to say "Nice to see you again." I'm still kicking myself over that one. Jeez.

So to sum up, I meet long-lost girl I kind of remember and embarass myself, somebody trade me tickets for Saturday's Acoustic Christmas for my Sunday ones and a date.

The Used - Buried Myself Alive

I'm such a quitter.

I quit that whole frat dealio. The frat thing isn't for everyone, and certainly not for the poor. But more than that, I just didn't see myself being very involved in the whole thing. The people were "eh" not that they're bad people but just not people I would associate with freely. And then there were some who were hardly seen (by me) and I'm sure they still ponied up the quarterly fees. Well I figured I can't afford to pony up such a fee and not even goto the events, especially considering I don't have money for it. If I asked my parent's for the money they'd ask me what for and then I'd have to lie about it and that sort of defeats the whole purpose since the fraternity is supposed to have some sort of gentlemanly code of conduct and lying to my mother in order to pay the money to be with and participate in a group seemed sort of contradictory to me.

The last two weeks I've been really tired. I'm not sure why yet.

311 - You Wouldn't Believe

The second viewing of the Matrix was significantly better. I could appreciate the story more as the IMAX was just too large a projection. Although I think that going in with lower expectations helped too. I still can't help but laugh at the quote from a reviewer on Rotten Tomatoes:

"So disappointing they may as well have bussed in Ewoks to save Zion."

Hahahaha. And its so true too.

Joining this whole fraternity dealio isn't panning out for me. Without going into too much detail, basically there are a few things. Upon joining I was informed that it would cost $175/quarter or somewhere in that range. That was acceptable. Then it jumped to $225, then tonight I heard the number $275/quarter. Certainly I have to get that straightened out. But that aside, the things that we've done while are somewhat fun, they haven't been "WOW! HOLY CRAP! THIS IS THE BEST TIME OF MY LIFE!"

While talking to one of the active brothers in the fraternity he told me that during the entire "pledgeship" time the things we do may seem stupid at the time but when you look back at them they are the funnest time of your life. I get this a lot from all of the people I've talked to that pledging is the best time I'll have in college. However, I tend to disagree with this assesment that looking back the things that may have seemed to be stupid now will be really fun in the future. This is true with almost anything that was even remotely plesurable. I think I've posted something similar before to this affect that in hindsight, everything seems "fun." What I spent all Thursday night/Friday morning doing involving Oompa Loompa's and checking for places I could be raped on campus was just not all that awesome. And staying up till 6AM is not my idea of "fun."

And while I may look back on it in the future and think, "Gee, that was so silly and fun." I doubt I'll think it was significantly more fun than a night with my roommates playing video games or watching what seemed to be a very exciting (according to the recaps I read online) Lakers game that went into double overtime with Shaq and Kobe having to combine for 70+ points to defeat a Duncanless Spurs, that I did not get to watch. And certainly not $25 dollars worth that I'll have to pay on Friday to perform the Willy Wonka maddness. Nor will it be worth the $55 dollars I owe the next coming Monday. And not to mention the other fees.

But thats not the least of it. Perhaps my time management isn't as awesome as I thought. In all seriousness, my time management is certainly lacking, but when I have plan for events that occur beyond 12AM unexpectedly, that does not tickle my fancy. Hell, it doesn't even interest me in the least. Looking for brownie mix to bake at 2AM in the morning is not my idea of "fun." Admittedly, it was "fun" and a more or less good memory, but the havoc it has wrecked on my sleep schedule and my lack of attendence in class because of it hardly seems worth the trouble. And from what I understand, the things we will have to do only get worse following this. But to be fair to myself, the blame for some of our time issues certainly does not lie with me alone, much of it has to do with those in charge.

I don't want to be labelled a quitter for starting something that I agreed to do. Or I "pledged" to do. And with most of my pledge brothers staying on I don't want to regret it once they go through with it and seem to be better off than I would be afterwards. I'll stick with it a few more weeks to see how it goes, but as of now, it certainly isn't looking good. But I hope that things will turn around. I was told at the start that if I chose to de-pledge that it would be all kosher and "no hard feelings" but I can't help but feel that I'd be insulting them by de-pledging after getting to know more than a few of those in the fraternity.

Sugarcult - Pretty Girl (The Way)

Just saw Matrix Revolutions at 6AM on IMAX. It was disappointing. However, I can't imagine how the Wachowskis could've made it so everyone was happy. Honestly though, it could've been better than how it ended. Perhaps upon a second viewing I can make more sense of it. And this frat stuff is getting dumber.

Tricky - Slowly

I've made a decision and it might just be because I've had a good evening. I've decided I will no longer let things bother me. I mean certainly some things will but I'm still trying this thing out. I don't know how long I can keep it up, but certainly I'll try my best. After another boring drive from Anaheim to Riverside I realized like many before me have that worrying does nothing and that like Gandalf says in the movie, " All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us." And that is exactly, more or less, what I'm going to do.

Frank Sinatra - I've Got The World On a String

I figured out what I wanted to say. Southern California has become like an ashtray for some god's giant cuban cigar. All of these fires all over the place has got ash flying all over the place. Here in Riverside its not so bad because the winds don't come this way, but at Disneyland and back at home it was just awful. The smoke turned the sky orange, which was very cool, but going outdoors to enjoy it wasn't very plesant.

I decided to join a fraternity this week too. But honestly, I'm still not sure, although thats probably how it should be. Don't want to rush into any decisions that might "change my life" like they say.

Loon f/ Mario Winans - Down For Me

Been over a month since I posted and the Dodgers didn't make the playoffs, just to update on the last post. And what potentially could've been an awesome World Series between the Red Sox and Cubs turned out to be the worst possible combination for baseball. Nobody cares about the Marlins and for the most part, only New Yorkers care about the Yankees.

Anyways, today I watched Lost in Translation with a cool, subdued Bill Murray and a very cute Scarlett Johansson. The movie is mellow and the story sort of glides along in a very American Beauty type of way. Its just nice to be able to get immersed in movies. I thought I'd have more to say, but I suppose not.

Bubba Sparxxx - Deliverance

The Dodgers have fallen back 3 1/2 games behind in the wildcard playoff hunt. I took my mom and grandparents to their first baseball game today. My mom has been in the United States for years an she'd never been to a baseball game and now that I've been making money I figured it was time to spend some of it on something useful. I took my parents and my mom the the Dodger game last night versus the hated San Francisco Giants. I had myself some Dodger dogs, spilled some soda and condiments on myself. My grandparents seemed to have fun watching the game and learning about "the wave." They didn't really participate, but they seemed enthused at least. My mom definately tried to get into it and she got up to sing "Take Me Out To the Ballgame." I also think I've converted myself another Dodger fan. She learned about some baseball and even argued some umpire calls. She thought the Dodgers got shafted on at least two plays she later told me in the parking lot. Of course she said something like "I think the judges were unfair to the Dodgers because I think that the player caught the ball before the other team was safe." But I got the idea. Damn straight! Stupid umps. I'll just have to help her brush up on her terminology. "Runs" not "points," and "innings" instead of "games." She'll be a Dodger fan by next season.

My grandparents are already Dodger fans. Sure they don't bleed "Dodger Blue" or anything but they watch the games on TV. My grandfather likes baseball in general and watches it whenever the boys are on TV and since they have only one TV hooked up to the cable my grandma is obliged to watch along with him and he's explained the game quite well while watching at home, so she knows the game well enough. Yay! I think I'll make my future family a Dodger family, or sports fans at the very least, my wife can like whatever team she wants. Unfortunately the Dodgers lost 6-4 after two costly first inning errors by usually Gold-Glove caliber Alex Cora and Cesar Izturis. And of course Barry Bonds just had to homer against us. Tomorrow is another day and the Dodgers will make the playoffs! Then its a whole new ballgame.

On Thursday I went up to visit some friends in Westwood. I'm so jealous of their $3100/month apartment. They got a big screen and leather furniture included with their huge 4 room, 2 1/2 bath, 2 (almost 3) floored apartment. Crummy Riverside. Stupid desert. Oh, and school is starting, and that just blows.

Liz Phair - Why Can't I

Jeez, reading that last post, I was really in a pissy mood.

My computer ended up having nothing happen to it and I fixed it, for the most part. My parents are back to normal after a few additional days of cooling off. So basically I made a big deal out of nothing. I've found that most things that happen are pretty insignificant. Not that I thought my life was so significant that it warranted being announced everytime something did happen. Emotions mostly get in the way.

I worked yesterday and got sunburned, so that sucked. But I was talking to some of the other cast members there and one guy had joined the army after high school and was on active duty for 2 years before taking a medical leave after being stationed at Ft. Knox. He said he regretted joining the army, though it wasn't a bad experience. He just wished he'd done something else with those 2 years after high school. He now goes to Cerritos College and is going to transfer to a UC probably but he said he'd wished he had just gone to the UC right after high school and done ROTC or something similar to that. That got me thinking while I was enjoying this Sunday's NFL action and playing hours upon hours of Madden 2004 that I somewhat regret some of my own life choices. Nothing has gone horribly wrong with them, just I probably would've gone to another college had I known what I did then, what I do now.

UC Riverside has been nice and the people I've met have all been wonderful but I think I definately would've had a much more productive college experience by going somewhere else. I think I bought into the whole idea of going to a school with some sort of "name brand." And while UC Riverside isn't exactly a "great" name university wise, it does have the "UC" attached to it. I hardly looked into any colleges other than ones that I knew of and everyone and their mother wanted to apply to. UCLA, USC, Cal, UCSD, UCI or even CSULB, etc. I was too into staying near my home, though now that I've been in college for 2 years I have no idea why I wanted to. The only out of state colleges I applied to were NYU, because I had harbored some crazy (and very popular) dream about getting into the entertainment industry. Again, I was sucked into the popular belief, albeit this one being a glamourous one. The other out of state school was the University of Massachusetts and I only applied there because my dad was an alumni though my parents didn't even want me to goto that "second tier"-ish school when I could get an "equal education" here in California.

Although my parents, my mom moreso than my dad, encourage me to experience new things, meet new people, visit new places, etc. and don't just follow the herds, going to a school other than a UC seemed almost out of the question because UCs just hold some reputation for being academically stronger than other schools. But I think my parents and myself, as well, fell into the trap of glossing over all the other aspects of college, besides academics. If I had gone to UMass or even some other smaller college that didn't have the academic reputation of UCR or UCSB (since I wasn't getting into no UCLA with my poor effort in high school) I think my mind and worldview would've expanded a lot more than by hanging around in Southern California (the forgettable hot and desert part, no less). But then if I had done that I guess I couldn't have worked at Disneyland and that has been a largely positive experience compared to my other jobs so it worked out more or less.

311 - Creatures (For A While)

I turned 20 last Friday. I didn't really make a big deal about it. For some reason I didn't want to do any sort of celebrating at all. I'm certainly not enjoying this prospect of growing older.

Today was a crappy ass day. I was thinking about writing a lot about it and how I feel and shit, but now I don't feel like it. To sum up:
- I woke up and went to work only to find out that they weren't going to let me.
- My HD decided to up and corrupt itself into an unfixable state, forcing me to diassemble it, and now it won't even power on.
- My parent's computer has also decided to go screwey on me as well, first with that MSBlaster bullshit and now it also has corruption problems as well.
- To top my day off, my parents were arguing about some dumb shit and now they're mad at each other, but I'll see where that goes. Its not really my business anymore, now that I'm older.

This day has made my summer go down the crapper. I actually want to goto work tomorrow just so I don't have to think about shit, for a few hours at least.

Dido - White Flag

Arnold is running for governor! Thats pretty cool. I'll vote for him. I know it seems trite to say you're going to vote for someone, especially because he's just Arnold but I think he'd make for a good governor, not just because he was Terminator. Which, by the way, was a very good third part and I recommend watching it. Plus, Claire Danes is in it and she's cute.

At any rate, my mom wants me to vote for Gray Davis and put him back into office, or keep him there, because she says that he's been good to state employees (she works for CalTrans) but I'll still vote for Arnold. Aside from the fact that he's Ah-Nuld. Last election he was the main proponent of that afterschool initiatives proposition that passed and provided funding for afterschool programs to keep kids off the streets. Plus, Arnold is Austrian and anytime you see him on TV doing interviews and stuff he always talks about how he came from a foreign country and believed that by coming to America he could become successful and obviously he did that. I like that about him, the fact that he still sees America as the land of opportunity and that the American Dream is still something that is attainable. I think that if he is put into office he'll bring a sort of idealistic outlook on things to California politics and though that may sound bad that he has no experience as to how things really work, his beliefs and work ethic will take him far. I think he'd be the kind of guy who'd be willing to try radical things, even though he is Republican. Maybe I'm just trying to justify voting a movie star into office.

Less Than Jake - The Science of Selling Yourself Short

Finally! Some good Dodgers news! No, they didn't win some games... unfortunately.

Malcolm Glazer, owner of the NFL's Tampa Bay Buccaneers, has reached an agreement in principle to purchase the Los Angeles Dodgers from Rupert Murdoch's News Corp.

Haha! Finally a competent owner! Woo Hoo! Sure Glazer is ugly as hell... but he's an awesome owner. He does what it takes! He stole Jon Gruden from the Bucs and he'll do something just as sweetness for the Dodgers. Dumbass Fox and News Corp. Trading away Mike Piazza. But all thats over with now!

I went to Disneyland and California Adventure to play today since I'm not getting any shifts from work. Those bastards probably hired too many people. But whatever, I'm trying to remain upbeat about the whole thing because Disney seems like such a nice company. I figure I'm just going to get cross-trained for everything like the hat writing and the boardwalk games and if I'm trained for everything, how can I not get work? What happens if I still can't get work you ask? Well then I'll request to be transferred to Disneyland instead of staying in Disney's California Adventure since they seem to have all sorts of jobs and shifts available on that side of the resort. Bleh. I'm just old and bitter.

While at Disneyland today I was watching the fireworks and they play this song during it that has some part thats like "...hold onto your childhood..." or "...remember your childhood..." and that struck me as "magical." As a kid I think everything is just more magical and although I may have been brainwashed by Disney already (despite not working and all) I think that its great fun to see kids scared on the Haunted Mansion and see somebody climb up onto someone's shoulder to see Fantasmic. Crazy Disney brainwashing me with their music and stuff. I want to go back to my childhood, at least for a few hours.

Things I Like #36: www.shoutcast.com

Miles Davis - Someday My Prince Will Come

I recently rented Birthday Girl and I found it surprisingly pleasant. The movie is very unassuming and lowkey yet it is able to surprise and even have some comedic moments. Anyways, hopefully not giving away too much of the plot... The main character finds that he has to sacrifice everything to gain what he wants. And me, always thinking crazy and all, wondered to myself, "Would I be willing to make necessary sacrifices to take a chance at what I truly want?"

Things I Like #35: Chip Clips, because stale chips suck.

The Wallflowers - One Headlight

Summer is well underway. I've been home two weeks now and its been good. I've been keeping busy, seeing grandparents, going out to lunch with them and stuff. I'm at that age now where I've realized that it is important to keep in touch with family. My grandparents had a small gathering with some of their old friends and I sort of chauffered, somewhat reluctantly since it took up most of my day. At any rate, I felt bad when they were talking amongst each other and saying, "What ever happened to so and so?"

"Oh, he/she died last year."

Obviously not everyone they mentioned died, but it was sad because they were all pretty old too. Then I felt bad for being reluctant to take them to meet up and eat lunch together because as distressing as it is to admit, they aren't likely to be around much longer. My grandparents, for the most part, seem pretty upbeat, but I wonder if thats how they really feel. I mean suicides amongst the elderly are quite high. One suicide is committed for every four attempts made by a senior citizen, compared with one suicide for every 20 attempts in the overall population. I seriously doubt my grandparents would attempt anything like that, but it would seem that being or becoming old is very depressing. I know that a lot of younger people get depressed, mid-life crisis and what not, myself included sometimes, but among the senior citizens, it must be difficult to see friends pass away.

On this whole depression thing, however, I've got other things to say. I ran across this article reading the news. Basically people who were diagnosed as "depressed" were given placebos, which were nearly as effective as real "antidepressant" drugs. First off, obviously there are those who have serious illness, bipolar disease, chemical imbalances, and they should be on the drugs for equally obvious reasons. However, I think that these drugs are overly prescribed. I mean seriously, people believe that they are sad and that a pill will cure all and its only part of the issue. People my age, and a lot of Americans in general have this giant hang up with being owed things and nothing (or hardly anything) is their fault. Nobody likes taking responsibility anymore. People love to blame problems on anything but themselves. "Oh, I'm depressed, its a medical condition so thats why I got fired, etc. etc." No, fine, you may be very sad or lonely, whatever, but you just need to suck it up and deal with it.

A few weeks ago, while school was still in session, I was talking about karma with some people and how it could be a belief system and what not. Then we debated the merits and basis of it all, saying bad things only happen when you've done something immoral, etc. If I had to make a choice, I'd say I believe in karma, but I haven't thought it through completely. At any rate, the whole discussion led me to a broad conclusion that people feel they are owed things. They believe that in life they will all get their fair shot, and concordantly, it is in America where we all have a fair and equal shot at the "American Dream", pursuit of happiness and all that. But I think it has become a problem that people expect things to be given to them or good things to happen to them, rather than them going out and taking advantage of their situations.

Things don't just happen if you wish, pray and say they will. Most things won't anyways. Very few people became successful and achieved what they truly wanted out of their American Dream and life without trying hard and even then others who try hard don't succeed. But very rarely is there somebody who didn't try hard that succeeded. And I get somewhat annoyed when I hear people say things like "Good things should happen to me" and stuff like that because no, no they shouldn't. Why should they? People born outside the US and Europe (or other developed countries) don't think that way because it simply isn't true. Being in America, having an opportunity to goto college, having parents who aren't abusive or drug addicts, being in good health, thats already "good things" happening to the person. I know I'm being hippocritical somewhat because I don't exert full efforts, but I certainly believe that I do not complain about not being given the opportunity to succeed and when bad things happen... well, I don't expect good things to happen to make up for it. The part of karma I thing I have figured out is that there is a reason why things happen. Its cause and effect, its not effect then more effect. If you did something bad, then something bad will happen to you. Its not, something bad happened then something good will happen to balance it out. If you donate to charity, then you will perhaps get some luck, etc. Its all controlled by the person's actions... not by external forces, in my opinion anyways, but what do I know?

What I do know, however, is that I got a job at Disneyland. Actually, my job is at California Adventure. But at any rate, I got a job for the summer and possibly after. Yay for me.

Black Eyed Peas f/ Justin Timberlake - Where Is The Love?

Things I Like #34: Finding out that people I haven't seen or talked to in forever have gone on to be successful, namely some people I knew back in elementary school who I had just thought up and decided to type their names into Google.

Holy crap, check out this month's Vanity Fair cover(warning 56k users, large image) and coverstory. Talk about a giant orgy of statutory rape fantasies. I got buying myself a few copies... to make sure other sick, twisted pepole don't get their dirty thoughts all over them... yeah, to protect society.

The Ataris - My So Called Life

To quote a friend of mine, "The Matrix not only has you, it owns your sorry ass."

That was the best movie EVAR! Okay, maybe not, but it was really good. Honestly, it started out somewhat slow, with the completely unnecessary sex/rave celebration sequence that lasted far too long. But it picked back up as soon as they left Zion. I'm not going to go through the whole plot, but soffice to say, it was better than satisfactory. For the first third of the movie however, I couldn't help but think, "This is somewhat of a let down." I mean the graphics were nice, but it seemed to me that they were too enamored with their own special effects (which were very good) but once they got back to simple (more or less) gun or martial arts fights and witty dialogue it became instantly more enjoyable.

It seems to me that everyone liked Neo fighting multiple Agent Smiths, but I found that to be the worst of the movie. Conceptually its the boldest and fanciest idea, but I don't like the fact that they did most of the fight with computers. I realize that they had to do it with computers in order to achieve what they were looking to do, but it was distracting, in my opinion. It wasn't bad at all, just of all the very cool fight scenes, that one ranks the lowest for me rather than the highest as it does for most people. The plot was also quite sufficient in that it left several questions for everyone, and with that Revolutions trailer that followed the credits (hopefully everyone stayed past the strangely long credits). The preview, though short, showed some pretty sweet stuff coming to conclude and I'm excitied! November I get Matrix: Revolutions and December I get Return of the King? Oh crap, I may have to go relieve myself in a bit.

Anyways, enough about the best movie of the year. Being a resident of Los Angeles and a basketball fan I feel I must comment on this Lakers debacle. I'm not really a Lakers fan, never really caught onto them, but I just watch them on account of the fact that I dont' have cable at home and all I get is the Lakers when they're on local channels. At any rate, all I can say is that Kobe was very disappointing. I know, I know, he scored like 30+ points/game but that doesn't mean he was good. Okay, scoring 30 a game isn't bad per se, but he simply didn't dominate. Shaq was dominant at times, but he wasn't dominanting. I kept saying and watching, hoping that Kobe would simply "turn it on" and torch the Spurs for 50 like he did when they played the Wizards in Jordan's final game against the Lakers or like during his streak when he seemed like he could score at will. I don't know if it was his injured shoulder from the Minnesota series or if it was Bruce Bowen's defense, but Kobe just didn't step up. Then at the end of game 5, when he passed to Horry for the shot, that was a shot he should've took himself. He had Bowen in the air on his pump fake and he could've gone to the line for 3 free throws or even got a 4 point play, we've seen him do it before (re: Minnesota series). If the Lakers learned anything this series its that Robert Horry is worn out and needs to be let go, they need to resign Medvedenko (who I'm a believer of after seeing his game 5 performance) and that they need to make some moves, might I suggest Juwan Howard. He's a free agent and can likely be had for the mid-level exception they've got this offseason. He'll provide them another post presence, seeing as how only Shaq and Kobe can successfully post people up, he is also a good guy as evidenced by his lack of complaining, playing for the worst team in the league, Denver. He's also willing to play third option, as evidenced by his time with Dallas a few years back. This is unlike the pipedream free agents some Laker fans I know have been wanting like Karl Malone. Anyways, just my two cents on the Laker situation.

Sum 41 - The Hell Song

The Matrix Has You

The Matrix: Reloaded is on tonight! Don't miss this, because you'll wanna tell your children that you saw one of the greatest trilogies ever when you were young and that their movies are crap. You must aid your own senility by watching this! Goooo! And how can you want to miss Neo's acting ability!?

Rob D - Clubbed To Death

I figured its about time I revive this sucker. I haven't had much to say lately, but then again, what I say on here is mosly for my own future nostalgic benefit anyways. I was very recently asked "What've you been up to?" and I found that I never have anything to say to that and my response ends up being something like "Oh, not much", "Same ol' ol'" or "Uhhh.... nothing." I used to find that somewhat disappointing that I didn't have anything to say because I would think that I'm not a good conversationalist but then after some thinking I realized that its not because I'm not a good talker, (I would say I probably talk too much when its not necessary) its the fact that I really haven't done anything. Nothing new anyways. If I did say something, it'd be rambling about how I went to class and fell asleep. Sadly most of my days consist of that. And its not like I could tell people "Yeah, yesterday I played this awesome round of Warcraft and I kicked the computer's ass! Hard!" At least most people wouldn't care too much.

Last night, or this morning, I watched X2 at the 12:01AM showing and it was very good. As an occasional comic book reader and past comic book collector, I found the movie throughly pleasing. Showing a bit more of Lady Deathstrike or at least mentioning her name would've been nice. Showing a bit more of Shadowcat wouldn't hurt either. But I liked seeing the other characters all the same. And the cliffhanger ending was awesome. I already can't wait for the next one. This one was definately an improvement over the first X-Men movie and I would say its better than Daredevil too.

I was going to start taking more pictures again but when I pulled out my camera I found it had a problem with it and I won't be able to now. I think I need to take more pictures now so that in the future I won't be senile and if anything I'll be able to look back at them and pretend I was happier in my youth, (or younger days, now that I'm 19 and not really a "child" any more) which seems to always be the case, even if you're rich or whatever.

Shakira - Antologia

With the start of a new quarter I've been trying to do all the reading for my classes, instead of like most quarters in which I got by merely going to class and diligently taking notes. I'm taking three history classes this quarter and I figure since those classes are for my major, it'd benefit me to try harder in those classes. Its likely time I started to work hard anyways.

Today I went to The Block to watch a Better Luck Tomorrow a movie that was pimped by one of my friends. This movie is supposed to be a landmark of sorts in that it is directed and largely produced, and starring Asian Americans. Ebert and Roeper have given it their approval and on Rotten Tomatoes it has a "Fresh" rating of 83% at the time of this post. At first I was conflicted about this movie because it seemed to be overhyped on account of its "Asian-ness," so to say. But then I came to realize that its good that Asian Americans are getting exposure in mainstream media (MTV's been airing commercials for it for the last 2 weeks and if it gets nationwide release, even more mainstream exposure) but I worry that by billing the movie as good "Asian American" fare, it will perpetuate at least a bit more racial inequality within society. Shouldn't the movie be just a "good" movie instead of a "good Asian American movie"? I hope that makes sense.

Also, there seems to be a growing trend of stereotyping Asian Americans as gangsters now. Certainly the media is all about stereotypes, but it seems that the majority of Asian Americans within the media, at least the younger ones, are no longer college-hungry, SAT freaks and instead have become Rice Rocket drivers in an attempt to either find a new identity for themselves... or I don't know what. But just look at Fast and the Furious for example. The "bad guy" in that movie was an Asian and he certainly wasn't typecast as an Asian (at least I don't think so), though his part was fairly small. And in Better Luck Tomorrow, these Asians break away from the stereotypcial mold of studious teens to being drug dealers and party goers, or whatever it is that they do.

I didn't get a chance to watch it tonight because the final 3 showings of the night had sold out, which is a good sign in terms of the movie's success and a credit to the promotion of the movie by people like my friend, unfortunately the large majority of the ticket buyers looked to be Asian American meaning this movie, while it marks a major foray of Asian Americans into Hollywood, its core audience is fairly specified at this point in time and that it has yet to really break into a large percentage of American society. What I hope this movie does is it becomes something of a "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" in that its merely a good movie, in that it could be "My Big Fat Russian Wedding" and it still would be just a "good" movie and not a "good Greek movie." Then, I think this movie becomes more important in terms of its overall affect on Hollywood, mainstream society, etc.

On a different note, I would like to tell you to download the Matrix: Reloaded trailer. I had to change my pants after watching it.

Notorious BIG - Juicy

Finals approach, as does spring break, and I'm here writing my history paper. I finally chose a major, like 3 weeks ago, after wavering my first year and a half in college. History/Law & Society is my choice. I've liked history classes and the law and society seem to be a good addition since without it I'd be very lax on my coursework since the history major isn't too hard to fulfill, in terms of units. I want to get the max out of my 4 years. As far as what I'd do with this major... well, I haven't gotten there yet. Law school, maybe, but not likely. Teaching? Maybe, but I don't know how effective a teacher I'd be. Whatever, I only just picked a major, I've got time.

Yesterday, I watched Bush deliver his "ultimatum" speech to Saddam. Here's what I've got to say about all this war stuff. I'm sort of on the fence about going to war and being all for waiting and trying to use diplomacy. I don't want to say I'm "anti-war" because I can forsee where war could be necessary. Then there are the anti-war protestors. They obviously have valid points, considering the death and destruction that would undoubtedly result. But as far as what the politicians have been saying goes, I can't say I trust either side.

The Bush side of things certainly has all sorts of holes in its argument. From what I can gather, George W. Bush wants to go into Iraq because he has yet to disarm following the UN resolutions passed after the Gulf War. Thats almost 12 years. Certainly ample time has been allotted to Saddam to relinquish or destroy his weapons of mass destruction. This reason, in my opinion, is a good one. First of all, its not like the United States placed this demand upon Iraq, it was a United Nations resolution to do so, and as such it would be a global thing. Then last year in November 2002, there came resolution 1441 that was a two step process that had them demanding that Iraq disarm and everyone passed it except for Syria. Basically it called for a two-step process saying that if Iraq didn't disarm, then the UN Security Council would debate it again. So fine, then we'll have a new resolution in the UN allowing us to go in, as Bush said in his State of the Union address that he would call for a resolution to find out what all the other countries were and find out who was supporting the US and where everyone stood on the matter. But last night, in his ultimatum, Bush has unliaterally decided to go into Iraq (seeing as how Sadaam has vowed not to exile himself). Although it may seem that Bush had gone back on his word, he merely wanted a resolution in order to find out what cards everyone was holding and since France's Chiraq has come out and said that he will veto any resolution authorizing the use of force in Iraq at any time, calling for another resolution seems pointless.

But something that seems to have been overlooked by many is the fact that Reoslution 1441 had said that:

"There's no 'automaticity' and this is a two-stage process, and in that regard we have met the principal concerns that have been expressed for the resolution. Whatever violation there is, or is judged to exist, will be dealt with in the council, and the council will have an opportunity to consider the matter before any other action is taken." (Source: LA Times)

But now Bush has gone and claimed that he can go in, even without the approval of the United Nations. Tricky tricky feller that Bush, slipping that one by us, eh?

And of course you've got to ask, why now? Why would during the past 12 years we didn't threaten Saddam much about this? My guess is that Bush wants some sort of lasting legacy and he called out Sadaam, threatening force and if he were able to get Sadaam to disarm or even get him out of power, then Bush's legacy as perhaps a peacekeeper would be intact. (Especially if he weren't re-elected next year) Also, by either taking away Saddam's teeth, or even replacing him, they would be able to control the oil in that region, something Bush has shown he is all about. Being from Texas, and having an oil background, he has supported building a pipeline in Alaska (through protected regions) so clearly he is big on the oil business here. So unfortunately for the Bush his story has got some holes and his motives are of particular concern as well.

Then there's France. France, as stated before, doesn't want any sort of force used there because they want to be civil and diplomatic about everything. They don't want to kill innocent Iraqis, nor do they want to have the United States be the center of hatred for pepole in the Middle East. And they don't want to send our troops in to get killed. How nice of them, trying to protect their allies and protect innocent people and the sons and daughters of parents in the military. Very nice gesture, I'm sure. But Bush isn't the only one with ulterior motives. Read here and here. Gee, the Americans aren't the only ones with oil are their minds eh?

At any rate, then there are the protestors in the public that are anti-war for a variety of reasons. Among the popular ones seem to be distrust for anything Bush says, fighting a war for oil, and just plaing being anti-war. I can respect being plain anti-war and believing everything has a diplomatic solution. But distrusting Bush, just because? I don't know about that. At any rate, here's where I stand after all that discussion that probably went unread. There are good reasons to goto war, in that Iraq likely has weapons and a threat of war could get Saddam to flinch first. But with that comes concerns about North Korea's clear violations and of them having weapons of mass destruction as well, why not deal with them? At any rate, I think we should put off war as long as possible and seek something less aggressive than war, but certainly something more aggressive than the "UN Inspectors" who travel from site to site "inspecting" while Saddam moves his weapons from site to site. Obviously if someone were going to come to my house to find something I didn't want them to see and they went from room to room, I'd just move the object to the area where they are not, so that whole inspectors thing wasn't working. Unfortunately, nobody has come up with something inbetween war and not doing anything, and between those two? I would have to lean towards war, as the inspectors just weren't cutting it and its been 12 years of that.

Just my 2 cents. (Maybe more like a quarter, I wrote a bit more than I anticipated)

N.E.R.D. - Rockstar (Jason Nevins Remix)

On Wednesday, I went to the gym to play basketball at around 3:30, having class at 5pm. Well, I brought in my cell phone into the gym and I set it down on the ground where most people put their stuff. At any rate, I brought my cell phone in with the mindset that I would need it to check the time since there's no clock inside of the gym.

I never checked the time, with the mindset that I wasn't going to goto class. When I decided to leave the gym I went to go get my cell phone, but it was nowhere to be seen. My car keys were there, but not my cell phone. Alas, it was stolen.

Crazy karma. I figure, if I had just gone to class and went to check the time on my cell phone, it wouldn't have been stolen and I wouldn't be in such a predicament. Oh well, I needed a new cell phone anyways.

Rehab - It Don't Matter

Well, it has been an interesting week since I got into the accident. My arm is fine, but since last Friday, I've seen two car accidents occur. Prior to Valentine's Day, I'd never been in nor seen a car accident actually occur. But last week I was stopped at a red light and I looked into my rear view mirror as I heard a loud screeching sound. The car behind me got rear-ended by the car behind her. Nobody was hurt and they both got out of their cars and seemed calm. I drove away because I was late to class and I was blocking traffic.

Tonight, driving back from class I was waiting at the intersection, a red light again, and I hear a huge screeching and collision and I see this jeep taking two hops across the center median. This small Nissan (I think) had hit it head on. I stopped for about 3-4 minutes but other drivers who were directly behind the accident (It was down the street to the left of me) had stopped and offered their help and I figured that I'd only block traffic and since both drivers got out of their cars it wasn't too bad.

But as I drove home, quite stunned, I was thinking about it more and more. Maybe this is like one of those Final Destination things, but its not because its not like I'm supposed to die since I wasn't close to death in the first accident and the other two didn't have anybody die nor was I even involved, I was just in close proximity. So then I was thinking, maybe it was a test for me. Like how I had said that the lady who drove away from our accident, after at least partially causing it, was a bitch and what not, and I had driven away from both the two accidents and I didn't stay. I regret not staying at either one now. But both accidents I hadn't witnessed so its not as though I could tell the police anything. And then other people had stayed too. I did wait a few minutes (along with some other cars)... I don't know, maybe I'm a bad, uncaring person too, as far as helping out strangers goes anyways.

I keep trying to rationalize things by saying "I didn't see the accident," and "Other people, who are better suited to stay around, aid the police and what not," have already stopped too. Unfortunately, I think that I just did the wrong thing by not staying. I should've stayed, at least for the second one, the first accident I didn't even see, I just heard and saw the people get out of their cars. The second one had both vehicles moving. Oh well, chalk it up to experience I suppose.

Evanescence - Bring Me To Life This group is awesome. They did two songs on the Daredevil soundtrack and they're awesome.

Its the day after Valentine's Day and I've decided to revive my Blogspot because some eventful stuff has happened to me actually. Unfortunately its got nearly nothing to do with Valentine's Day. I wish I had some awesome story to tell about some hot girl is somehow involved in all of it, but unfortunately it doesn't. Except maybe in my fantasies, but those never happen of course.

My story starts with 5 guys on their way to watch the Daredevil movie at Ontario Mills. As we drove along (I was in the passenger side of the front) I saw a car start to come towards our lane. We were in the far left lane before the carpool lane. I said "Watch out!" I saw the lady in the car next to us look up at me, she was either looking for something on the floor or she dozed off while driving. In either case, she looked right at me and just then the driver of our car swerved quickly to the left in response to my statement and to the oncoming car from the right. We slammed into the center divider almost head on. From what the other passengers told me, we slammed almost headon into the center divider, but I didn't see any of that because I was looking to my right, out the window at the lady in the car next to us.

The next thing I felt was the car spinning across the freeway going in a full 360 and eventually sliding to a stop on the other side of the freeway, almost into a dirt ditch. That was when I noticed that the airbag had deployed and the smell of firecrackers or gun powder filled my nose. I tried to open the door but it only opened a bit and I had to use my leg to force it open so I could get out. At that point I could feel pain on my left cheek and in my arm. I heard faint cursing from the drivers seat and moaning from all the passengers in the car. Getting out of the car we examined ourselves and found that only one of us was bleeding, luckily only a bloody nose and busted lip. Apparently the center rider had slammed forward (wearing only a lap belt) and his face hit his knee, which was propped up in the car. My arm was also in pain, with my left wrist swelling up and the pain becoming very distracting.

Two nice drivers stopped behind us and told us they had saw what had happened. Sacrificing even part of their night was nice, especially when they weren't involved. I looked ahead on the freeway and saw the lady's car stopped in the carpool lane. I thought perhaps she had crashed or she was waiting for traffic to clear before she came back to us. However, I looked away for a while to scream in pain because of my arm and make sure I wasn't bleeding out of my left ear which had been smacked by the airbag and by then she was gone. Her car had driven off. What a bitch. *Sigh*

Luckily the CHP was driving by and three patrol cars stopped and took our statements and called AAA for us too. They were all really nice too, but I guess thats because we didn't do anything wrong really. Unfortunately they cited te driver for not having proof of insurance... but I guess we can't complain about that, they were just doing their job. They left as the AAA tow truck came and we were off to the hospital. I was the only one requiring medical attention as my wrist had swelled up past normal proportions.

At the hospital we waited and found out that Kaiser, my healthcare provider did not allow me to be admitted to another hospital... oh well. So we then went home and I drove with one arm to Kaiser and there I spent over 3 1/2 hours to get x-rayed, put into a splint, find out I have a fractured wrist and get to wear a splint and sling for 2 weeks. Woo hoo, battle scars, I suppose. I couldn't really complain about the long wait at the hospital either because everyone was supernice. And I suppose that sounds like I'm a sissy but I also saw them working too. Its not like they weren't doing anything and you don't want to rush them on paperwork and diagnosis because what if they mess up? Thats not cool so I just waited my turn.

At then end of the night, I ate Jack in the Box, it was delicious I hadn't had anything to eat since lunch and we got in an accident at 9:30 PM. And I got out of the hospital at 3:00 AM the next day. So it was damn delicious.

I thought about what happened alot, however, in the hospital for some 3 hours. I keep hearing people tell me that if just one car had been coming in any of the lanes or if that car had brushed us, anything like that I realized we could've been injured a lot more seriously. And someone told me that some people who are in car accidents are traumatized even if they aren't injured but I didn't feel an urgency to go be productive in life (moreso than usual anyways) nor did I have any serious qualms about driving freeway to the hospital afterwards. Its not that I'm trying to say that I'm better than any of those other people or anything, but I guess I wish I could feel that my life could've ended or the life of anyone else in that car. All it has taught me to realize (as of tonight anyways) is that you can't live in the past. Like if we had left 5 minutes earlier for the movie or if we hadn't sped past a yellow light to get on the freeway and just slowed down and waited we would've just watched the movie. I suppose things happen. I don't know, I'm still trying to find meaning in all of this because as far as I'm concerned, all I can think about is how this is a story that I can tell people next Valentine's Day. I really wish I could feel more lucky that we didn't hit something else... or that my airbag deployed correctly, etc. Perhaps it just hasn't sunk in yet. Definately more as soon as I perhaps find some meaning in all of this and my wrist stops hurting as much, hopefully.

P.O.D. - Youth of a Nation

I've been sick the past two days so I figured I'd finally post something. Anyways, I've had a fever and all I did most of the weekend was watch TV and lie on the couch. Fun eh? Although towards the end of the day my eyes began to burn so I closed them during commercials. Thats how dedicated I am to TV.

Jimmy Eat World - Softer