Oops, closed the window so I'm having to retype this, ugh. Anyways, I was talking about yesterday, I mentioned a post about the shower that I never bothered to post. Well, a few weeks ago, I was in my dorm room and getting ready to go take a shower and I get my soap, Irish Spring, for those of you who care, and my shampoo, Finesse and I got my towel and walked across the hallway into the restroom to take a shower, and to my surprise, there was someone else in there taking a shower already. Now before you people start to say things, this has no homosexual connotations whatsoever, so I don't want to be getting any of those stupid email's saying "you're homophobic" or stuff like that. But then again, any email about my blogspot would be nice... ehh... whatever, go ahead and gay bash me, I don't care.

Well, anyways, it was 3 AM and thats when I usually take a shower and theres usually nobody in there. I don't really mind that someone else was in there, but I figured it could potentially be very awkward. At any rate, I did what I usually did, got undressed, and got into the shower, and as I was taking a shower and the guy (assumedly) was in the next stall and I was putting soap on my nekkid self, I couldn't help but wonder "What if I dropped the soap, and it skidded over to the other shower stall?" I kept thinking this because I guess I felt really awkward about asking another naked man for soap, for one reason or another. Yeah, I know it sounds stupid, but thats what I kept thinking.

Well now that I wasted a sufficient amount of your time with that pointless information, I don't really have anything to say now. But I will try to entertain.

Lately, I've been thinking about this whole girlfriend/boyfriend thing. I think I'm too damn picky. I mean I say that stolen line from a friend of mine of "beggars can't be choosers" but in reality, I'm quite picky. Like I'll think things about women. I don't want to sound self-centered or anything like that but whenever a girl might have liked me, whether she did or not, I'd think about 10-15 years down the road and if I could see them with me still. Its odd really, I think like a girl almost. Well a stereotypical, Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks romantic comedy watching girl anyways. I long for that feeling "you only read about in trashy romance novels" as Kevin Smith put so well in Chasing Amy, which, by the way, has become one of my favorite movies. I only wish I could think of something so romantic to say, as Holden McNeil (Ben Affleck) said in that really good movie. So I'll leave you with a quote like this. I want to feel like the following:

"I love you. And not, not in a friendly way, although I think we're great friends. And not in a misplaced affection, puppy-dog way, although I'm sure that's what you'll call it. I love you. Very, very simple, very truly. You are the epitome of everything I have ever looked for in another human being. And I know that you think of me as just a friend, and crossing that line is the furthest thing from an option you would ever consider. But I had to say it. I just, I can't take this anymore. I can't stand next to you without wanting to hold you. I can't, I can't look into your eyes without feeling that, that longing you only read about in trashy romance novels. I can't talk to you without wanting to express my love for everything you are. And I know this will probably queer our friendship - no pun intended - but I had to say it, because I've never felt this way before, and I don't care. I like who I am because of it. And if bringing this to light means we can't hang out anymore, then that hurts me. But God, I just, I couldn't allow another day to go by without just getting it out there, regardless of the outcome, which by the look on your face is to be the inevitable shoot-down. And, you know, I'll accept that. But I know...I know that some part of you is hesitating for a moment, and if there is a moment of hesitation, then that means you feel something too. All I ask, please, is that you just, you just not dismiss that - and try to dwell in it for just ten seconds. Alyssa, there isn't another soul on this fucking planet who has ever made me half the person I am when I'm with you, and I would risk this friendship for the chance to take it to the next plateau. Because it is there between you and me. You can't deny that. Even if, you know, even if we never talk again after tonight, please know that I'm forever changed because of who you are and what you've meant to me, which - while I do appreciate it - I'd never need a painting of birds bought at a diner to remind me of."
-Kevin Smith, via Holden McNeil (Ben Affleck) in Chasing Amy

Billie Myers - Kiss the Rain (Chasing Amy Remix)

Okay, well I've tried to, or begun to post several times in the last few weeks but either I got bored and stopped typing, or I realized that anything I had to say wasn't very important at all. But tonight, after doing a lot of nothing, watching reruns of Boy Meets World, one of the shows that I have come to judge my life on... sickening really. I was watching it on the Disney Channel of all stations. Well, the last few times I wanted to post and couldn't for various reasons, I had interesting things to say about college, like the showers, and girls, and other stuff, but I just couldn't put myself up to posting. I'm so lazy. As you can tell, thats a theme for me here.

Tonight, I've actually been really nostalgic. Well, actually, not just tonight, but a lot of nights. I think I'm falling back into my old rut of depressing thoughts. Its sad really. I was reading at ABCNews.com about post-traumatic stress disorder following the tragedy of 9-11 and I realized that I think its affected me too. I mean I haven't really been directly affected, especially since most of the happenings are all on the east coast, but... in some indirect way, its affected me. I'm still sorting it out, but it has, without a doubt. Maybe more on this later. I'm going to try to force myself to write with more frequency, for the millionth time in the short time I've had this blogspot.

As far as a World Series prediction goes, I wanted Seattle and Atlanta, so this is just suck. I don't want either team, but I think that the Diamondbacks are going to win, but I'm not going to cheer for either team.

Shakira - Suerte

I would've posted earlier, but the fact that UCR's ResNet was suspended from us dormitory folks for like 3 days, it sucked a lot. But anyways, college is pretty good still. Y'know what sucks though, having crushes. Its so damn high school, or even elementary-ish. Ugh, but thats a bit too private for this site, if you know what I mean. Hopefully I'll be all over it by the next time I post because right now I've got to read some books and then try not to fall asleep. *Sigh* Thank goodness for Coca-Cola my favorite!

Whitney Houston - I Will Always Love You

Since coming to college, I've realized that my real life has become rather mundane, so much so that I can't tell the difference between my largely uneventful dreams and my largely uneventful waking moments. And this blending thing isn't one of those cool ones like they have in the movies like The Matrix but rather a jeez, my dreams are boring... but wait, maybe someone said that to me in real life. Perhaps this is just like a premonition of what is to come and I'll be crazy in the future, unable to distinguish reality from illusions. Or maybe I just need to get out more and stop sleeping through the day. But this, as with most everything, is probably a culmination of all of those things and I really need to stop sitting at home on Friday's and Saturday's doing nothing. Oh well.

Ginuwine f/ Timbaland - When Doves Cry

I'm a bad bad student, just horrible. And if you feel the need to mock me after reading this, then you can suck it. Anyways, this was our first full week of class and y'know what I did? Well, I went to my American Gov't lecture and I fell asleep. Can you believe that!? I feel asleep on the second day of class. I seriously thought that I'd make it at least 1 or maybe even 2 weeks before I started dozing off in class. But thats not the worst of it. I had my discussion for that class later that day and I almost fell asleep in there. If the class had gone on for another maybe 30 minutes, I most likely would've dozed off. My english and introduction to film classes were a bit more pleasant. I was actually awake and attentive. But then on Wednesday I skipped my lecture, for American Government to go eat breakfast... and today I skipped it again, knowing full well that if I showed up in class that I'd fall asleep anyways. My friend went, however, and he admitted to falling asleep in there after demanding that I go this morning, HA! Loser.

But I'm still keeping up in classes and what not. I've read my books, done my assignments, so I'm not doing horribly, I'm just missing class a bit.

Lifehouse - Sick Cycle Carousel

Second post from UCR. Classes really start tomorrow. Sadly, I haven't even bought my books yet or even found out where 2 of my 3 classes are. Well, nothing more than a general sense. I really like college because it allows me a lot of freedom, as I'm sure anyone will tell you. My dad asked me today if I wanted to go home, and of course I didn't! Well what I actually said was something to the effect of "Well if I do go home it'll just be to get some stuff and then come back the same day." I don't know why but I'm not homesick at all, at least not at that time. Perhaps I've actually learned to grow up, at least a bit anyways. So in the spirit of being more responsible, I'm going to go to sleep instead of write more. Yes yes, lousy excuse but you know what? Too freakin' bad. More later.

Boyz II Men - Dreams